christmas was different this year

our broomstick tree and small bounty of gifts

this year was the first year in my life that i haven't been home for christmas. this time around, i wouldn't spend mornings christmas shopping, days baking christmas cookies, afternoons collecting greenery and constructing wreaths, or evenings watching claymation rudolph's and frosty's. i didn't accompany my family on a snowy hunt for the christmas tree, or eat slumgulion stew on christmas night, nor did i enjoy the first white christmas at my house since i was a baby. instead, i spent christmas half a world away, and had proven to me that the richness of the season can be found anywhere.

what do you do at christmas time when there isn't family around? this is a question i found myself asking this year, because family really is the defining feature of christmas, at least in my previous experiences of it. you spend that special time of year with your parents and your siblings; it's often the only time of year you see many members of your extended family, and hear briefly about what they are making of their lives these days. the noise, laughter, stress, and joy of the holidays are all intimately tied to the presence of family. when family isn't around, christmas doesn't feel like all that big of a deal really. just a special day, arbitrarily placed in the middle of winter to fight off the duldrums, and give you a valid excuse to eat too much and make merry. and that's okay. christmas wasn't any less special this year, it was just different than it normally is.

i was blessed that my first christmas away from home wasn't a lonely one, and i think daniel and i found some small but wonderful ways to celebrate our little christmas together:
on christmas eve, we went for a walk in the woods, hiking up to the snow line, and digging through drifts together to rescue some boughs to bring a little green into the apartment. on the way home, we paused at a church in the woods for a moment of peace and reflection, lighting christmas-colored candles, and watching our own breath rise in front of our faces as we considered our lives in the context of the day. i can't speak for daniel, but i sat there and marveled at the fact that i was sitting in a tiny church surrounded by majestic mountains. i reveled in the warm tiredness in my thighs from our walk, and the chilly damp of my ankles after slogging in the snow for our boughs. there i was: young, healthy, and living a pretty amazing life... so much to be thankful for.
that night we ate simply, built a broomstick christmas tree, went out for a beer, and then attended midnight mass at the cathedral. the service was in german, and daniel told me later that it was pretty cheesy, but taking part in that ritual was a great experience. as was the moment when daniel turned to me, extending his hand for mine in a warm gesture of peace... and i then turned to the strangers beside me to wish them the same. in the services i have attended in my time in europe and the UK, this is my favorite moment, because of the generosity of spirit that i have felt in those grips: strangers with honest goodwill in their heart, so easily shared with this person they have never met.

christmas morning feast!

christmas day, we had decided, was going to be a feast day. we slept in, but when we woke up, got right to work on a delicious brunch of an enormous scramble full of vegetables and cheese and a batch of buttery homemade buscuits. we lingered over the food and our coffee, enjoying some music and each other's company. after breakfast, we opened our small collection of gifts. because each of us had primarily been shopping for only a very few people, we were each very proud of our choices. consequently, though small, our gift exchange was full of joy as we each saw our careful choices bring the hoped for joy to the other person's face. i don't know that i have ever so enjoyed gift-giving. it was small, and over in just a few moments, but was beautiful in great part because of that. that evening, we continued feasting, with a delicious dinner of roasted chicken and vegetables and a bottle of wine. the simple activity of working together on meals, the joy of shared music, food, conversation, and candlelight, came together to make a wonderful christmas. a non-traditional one, as is appropriate for it being celebrated halfway around the world from home.

b

the cream rises to the top, but it's spread in the middle

daniel and i wearing our christmas scarves :)

this title, goofy as it seems, says a lot about my time spent in innsbruck, austria. on the other side of the whole of my adventure, i know without a doubt that the time i spent in that city beneath the alps--with daniel, his friends, and later his sister katie, and then erik as well--was the best time i had in my whole month of traveling. it was my favorite place, easily the most beautiful, and the way that i spent my time there was nurturing to both my mind and my heart. it came at the middle of my journey, sandwiched between a rocky start and a gentle slide to the finish; rich, varied, full of love and laughter and homey feelings. and then of course, there was all the cream i consumed while i was there...

getting to innsbruck was itself an adventure: i departed bruges at 5:40 am, arriving in brussels at 7 to catch a 7:30 am train to zurich. that train arrived at 4:30 pm, and i had a two hour layover, departing for innsbruck at 6:30 and arriving at close to 10 pm. all in all, it was a 17 hour journey, and i did it all on my own--just me and my bags, a wonderful book (wendell berry of course) and my ipod. i didn't know how badly i needed those 17 hours alone until i was safely on the train to zurich, had stowed my bags, and was gazing out the window at a sunrise over some part of belgium. i hadn't been alone in so long, that i was shocked by how loud my thoughts were. between them, my music, and a beggar band who serenaded our train somewhere on our way through france, those hours passed without boredom or loneliness.

stepping off that train in innsbruck, and looking down the platform to find daniel waiting for me was such a joyful moment. i feel like it's been a long time since someone has been waiting on the other end, wanting to see me.
i've been lucky enough to be that person waiting several times since being here, but it is different on the other side of it: seeing the joy on daniel's face and knowing it was matched only by my own, was a wonderful feeling. i guess it had been a long time since i'd felt needed as a friend, and i had forgotten how amazing that is. i had also nearly forgotten what it was like to feel at home, and that moment brought that back to me.

if i tried to write about everything that happened in innsbruck: the adventures and emotions and conversations, this post would be days long. so i will try to pick and choose, and reconcile myself to the fact that it will take a lot more thought and writing for me to be able to do our time any sort of justice.

the most amazing thing about visiting daniel was getting to spend time with such a dear, dear friend. basically since i left home, i haven't been able to sit down with someone and just talk about things... anything... anything that was on our minds and hearts, and have it heard. that doesn't happen when you don't know people very well--you hold back, you don't make the same jokes you would normally, you don't even try to address matters of the weighty variety, and you often end up feigning interest in some surface level conversation because that is the only safe thing to do. you're afraid of being misunderstood, and that is an inevitability. you get tired of feeling the need to explain why you just did a happy dance, or laughed at something someone said (and were the only one to do so)... and so you surrender to the flow of everyone else's conversation, and are left feeling parched. we talked about everything really: living abroad and its frustrations, the joys of new discoveries, his job, my frisbee team, how much we have learned that we love america, the future, the past, other friends from home, going home again... daniel and i quenched both our thirsts for conversation, i think.
beyond that, it was wonderful to do simple things, like go grocery shopping, or for a walk, or cook, adventure to the milk-o-mat or drink a glass of wine with a meal. they were all things like that reminded me of being home, in the best way imaginable. i am slowly learning how to create home in far away places. it is harder than you may think, but doable in the end.

let's see... i think i'm going to revert to lists now, because i'm thinking of more and more things to talk about, and don't want this to go on forever. i'm sure at some point in the future i will write about a lot of them anyway, but just now that is a lot to do. so...

small adventures: haircuts, stinky cheese, planet earth watching, kitchen deep-cleaning, music exchanges, sharing books and poetry, waiting for the post, bough hunting
big adventures: skiing in the alps, sledding (and crashing) at night, the milk-o-mat, hiking, day tripping in munich, sampling delicious austrian cuisine, gluwein, streetcar rambling, wendell berry conversations

that isn't even a beginning, but oh well. hopefully the pictures below will help to capture the joy and beauty of my time in innsbruck. enjoy!
cheers,
b

the beautiful city of innsbruck, the alps, der inn, and sunny weather.

view from the streetcar.

between street cars we took a short walk, and found a poem about not littering and walking quietly in the woods. i think i love austria.

another view, this time with shadows and mittens.

our transportation mode of choice.

just one of many reasons to love austria... the gorgeous view over the little town we stopped in for coffee and delicious apple strudel (the real kind).

daniel and i sporting the awesome sleds/toboggans/(i can't remember the german word) that we went sledding on the night erik arrived. they go really fast and we rode them at night down unmarked roads and hills. the inevitable result was spectacular crashes, as my bruises the next day testified. totally worth it.

the day after erik arrived, we all went skiing on one of the mountains surrounding the city. it was my first time, and erik graciously taught me all day long, even getting me out on the baby run before the end of the day! it was a ton of fun. :)

the view from the mountain.

an alpine sunset.

and last but certainly not least: the amazing milk-o-mat. no account of my innsbruck times would be complete without it.

europe: the first 10 days

on december tenth i began my adventure through europe. i knew by the time i got to heathrow that i had packed too much. when i landed in copenhagen and found that i could no longer simply navigate by the signs that were all around me, it hit me how different this experience would be from traveling in britain. i was on my way.
and it was different: different, challenging, surprising, joyful, tiring, exhilarating, and everything in between. here's a glimpse at my first ten days adventuring through the north: copenhagen, amsterdam, and bruges.

part one: copenhagen

a typical small street in copenhagen, i loved the colors there.

tivoli gardens at night: where i learned that churros are delicious, and that europeans celebrate christmas with an amazing amount of flair.

real carnival rides--the carousel was beautiful.

tivoli black and white.

the older, quainter part of copenhagen with its canals.

a beautiful mural on one of the buildings outside christiania, copenhagen's large independent community (aka commune). the whole place was full of murals, but you aren't allowed to take pictures inside because pusher street still sells hash and some soft drugs and the dealers don't want to be documented.

this is the back side of the main gate leading into christiania: it says "you are now entering the EU." we took a tour from one of the residents when we visited christiania, and it was really interesting to hear about how it was founded in the 1970s, and how it has grown since then. they are currently in court with the danish government who wishes to demolish their homes--all of which are handbuilt and quirkily beautiful.

inside the moonfisher cafe in christiania: i stopped for coffee, and spent a long time people watching as residents of christiania came and went, and danish folk songs and christmas carols were sung by a small band. christiania was a fascinating place. a little dirty maybe, but full of artists, and other independent minds who had created a wonderful community together.

part two: amsterdam
amsterdam being beautiful in sepia. i'm sad that it was all too breifly beautiful--i was only there for two days.

this was snapped just outside the cool old cafe bar where i stopped for a frothy cappuccino and some poetry time. inside the cafe they had a cabinet of board games, all in dutch, including scrabble.

a sunny walk in amsterdam. this city is too picturesque for it's own good.

this was too cute: a tiny bike with a lock bigger than it is. the little bike's name is "stingray."

on the way to the van gogh museum, we walked through the dutch flower market. they had ever color and shape of tulip you could dream of...

baby tulips, the dutch flower market, amsterdam.

part three: bruges
welcome to bruges: a city of canals and cobblestones.

i ate a delicious and cheap lunch of soup and bread, and then played checkers over coffee, at this bar in bruges. it was established in 1515.

this is the belfry tower at the center of the city. for the steep price of 6 euro i got to climb some 300 stairs and be deafened by the bells... but the view was worth it.

the view from the top.

bruges was another city of bikes, just like copenhagen and amsterdam.

the proof.

what else does one do in a city of bicycles than rent one...

...and ride it along a canal through the countryside...

...to an adorable belgian village complete with windmill and paddle boat? i know not.

stay tuned for posts about the rest of my time in europe! coming soon: austria, the alps, friends and christmas on a small scale.

cheers,
b

first impressions of copenhagen

1. bikes, bikes, bikes, bike lanes that are like their own streets, kids on bikes, parents on bikes with kids, bikes left unlocked on the sidewalks (trust!), road bikes, cruiser bikes, bikes with baskets and bikes with bells. did i mention bikes?
2. pretty, simple, symmetrical architecture; spires and steep roofs and colorful facades.
3. tivoli gardens = amazing, even without riding any of the rides. churros with chocolate sauce are my new favorite food. and i wish they celebrated christmas with this much flair back home.
4. lots of really beautiful people with unusually colored eyes and easy smiles.
5. little kids in snow onesies, mittens and hats.
6. canals of dark green water.
7. cool grafitti that i can't read at all.
8. an exchange rate that causes considerable confusion.
9. christmas lights, cold wind, cobblestones, and cheese for breakfast.
10. protest (?) marches accompanied by homemade music (drums, maracas, and clapping hands), accompanied by dancing and banners that i couldn't understand.

UWIN 2008 and first farewells

this weekend marked the first "end" of something for me here in england. i competed in the university women's indoor ultimate nationals: had a lot of fun, played some excellent ultimate, and found myself in tears sunday evening as i came to realization that this is the first of many endings for me here. there are a hundred and one reasons why i'm excited to be so close to coming home, but i've been starting to realize lately all of the things i will miss when i leave as well. this has been an interesting and encouraging and emotional realization for me. in a lot of ways, i hadn't realized how attached i have become to some things here--i didn't expect it to hurt so much, but it does. and at the same time that it hurts, it makes me feel good too, because i know that it means that i have made real connections here. it's another instance of perspective being the key, and a bittersweet taste on the tongue being the outcome.

random fling, 6th place finishers at UWIN 2008: (top row) rachel, myself, freesia, (middle row) rosie, anna, (bottom row) emily, sophie, and caroline.

the absolute best thing about my time here in nottingham and at the university, has been playing ultimate with these girls. my time on the pitch here has been challenging, encouraging, educational, and above all else fun. the women's ultimate team here is my niche: it's the place where i feel most like myself, where i've been most able to be fully present to where i am, it's been my escape and my release when i've needed one, it's where i've grown, it's where i've met people that i admire and who inspire me, and with whom i have come to be friends. so (as you might imagine), after spending two whole days linked in a common goal as a team, playing some really excellent ultimate, and finishing the weekend as the 6th ranked team in the UK, i found myself shocked at the harsh reality that the season was over. shock is the right word. i had failed to realize that this was the last time i'd play with freesia, anna, rachel, caroline, rosie, emily, and sophie. no more tuesday night practices, no more goofy sideline dances, no more high fives and hugs after hard-fought points. it was amazing, but now it's over. and that's hard.
i know that when i get back to linfield, i will have fun playing ultimate with my friends there... but i will miss being serious about the sport. there's no doubt that i enjoy just chucking around with friends, or playing games that are more a competition to see who gets muddiest than a chance to grasp a new tactic... but i'll miss working out, drilling, really running, and working hard 4 days a week to improve my game. i'll miss (our captain) sophie's criticism, advice, and encouragement more than i can say. she has both pushed me and believed in me so much since i joined the team, and i contribute most of my progress here to being able to play with, and attempt to emulate, her. i've come to really love the sport of ultimate in my time here playing with random fling, and that is something i know that i can bring home with me.

myself and sophie following the awards ceremony at UWIN

and so the first farewell of many. classes end for me this thursday, although that is certainly not something that will be met with an emotional farewell. but i fly to denmark on friday morning, which means really that i only have maybe 2 weeks total that i will be in nottingham before i'm flying home. that's another strange truth that recently struck. i'm going to have to say goodbye to my favorite spot in the city: the cafe nero in beeston. i'll only have to walk over that dratted hill in the downs perhaps another 6 or 7 times before i leave. i'll only have to eat hall meals dominated by bread and potatoes for a few more evenings. and it's all so surreal.
i've spent so much time trying to get accustomed to this place, and being irritated with it's little frustrations... but now i'm starting to look at them with a sort of nostalgia. it's not that i'll miss the terrible food necessarily, but it has been a part of my experience here, and therefore is now looked at with a sort of fond amusement. i think the slow process of letting go has begun, and with it is coming a greater tolerance for things that once drove me nuts, and a sadness at having to say goodbye to things that i really do love here. and overriding it all is a sense of accomplishment: because this is happening right now, i've realized that i have made good use of my time here. i've finally stopped trying to compare myself to other people here: stopped wondering if i would have met more people if i'd fallen in more with the culture here (if i had drunk and partied a little more, been a bit less of a hermit, maybe not have traveled every weekend), stopped feeling like i might be missing out on something. instead i'm realizing just how much i have learnt, accomplished, and experienced since being here, and i'm feeling a bit in awe of it all.

best of all, i feel like all of these realizations are coming at just the right time. they've come before i leave for my european adventures, before i (no matter how greatly anticipated) begin to gradually reconnect with home by spending time with daniel, and then by erik's arrival and our time together here. this way, i get to own my time here a little bit more. i get to look around and say, "hey, look what i did... all on my own, in different country, 5000 miles away from home." this experience will forever be something that i did, something i can be proud of, and something that i can better share with all of the people that i love. and i also get to savour these last days i have here in nottingham, feeling content with my experience, entirely free to enjoy it, and all the more excited for the new adventures that are rapidly approaching. yay! :)
and i think (and hope) that when the time comes for me to come home, i'll be able to leave feeling content, without regrets, and with a sweet anticipation of what another new period of my life will have to offer, even if i leave a bit of myself here.


b

a (mostly) alternative grand tour

well, i've officially booked my entire trip, i have my rail pass in hand, i've started packing, and i'm itching to get out of town! here's a quick look at my plans for break! :)

______________________________________________________

12 december: fly from london to copenhagen (denmark)
12-15 december: copenhagen with katie

15-16 december: night train from copenhagen to amsterdam (the netherlands)
16-17 december: amsterdam with katie

17 december: train to bruges (belgium)
17-21 december: bruges with katie

21/22(?) december: a long, long train ride to innsbruck (austria)
21/22 december- 2 january: innsbruck with daniel
28 december: erik arrives!

2 january: train to venice (italy)
2-5 january: venice with erik

5 january: train to florence
5-6 january: florence with erik

6 january: train to riomaggiore
6-11 january: riomaggiore (in cinque terra) with erik

11 january: fly back to notts
12 january: take an exam and turn in two papers... oh boy...
______________________________________________________

some things i'm really looking forward to:
--so many cities with canals :)
--visiting christiania (a huge, well established commune) in copenhagen
--taking a night train
--getting lost in amsterdam (and everywhere else i'm going)
--trying belgian beer
--real snow
--getting to spend the holidays with daniel
--random adventuring with daniel (including the milk-o-mat)
--erik coming!
--seeing gondolas in real life
--david (he's a famous statue or something like that)
--italian food = yum
--long walks along the mediterranean in cinque terra
--more daylight (well, for at least part of the trip. yay for going south!)
--meeting new people in hostels
--taking lots of pictures, but hopefully not too many
--getting to linger in places
--lazy days and sleeping in
--cooking! (the hostel erik and i booked in riomaggiore is more like an apartment)
--more train rides :) i love trains!
--amazing time with amazing friends

some things i think will be, well, interesting:
--language barriers (especially when finding food/ordering food, since it's been an experience even here in the UK)
--amsterdam (because it's amsterdam)
--all day train ride by myself to innsbruck (again, the language thing)
--weather (COLD. i hope i don't freeze...)
--trying to write 2 papers and study for an exam when i'm on the road

i will be bringing my laptop along on my travels, and will try to keep my blog updated while i'm traveling, but i can't guarantee anything. i should be able to update when i get to innsbruck, if not before. and i'll try to be sure to upload some pictures to picasa if nothing else, so check them out!

cheers,
b

where giants walk

at the giant's causeway


the cliff-top path steals your breath
with vistas and whistling wind.
your skin numbs in the cold exhale--
tinged with the salty-fresh of the sea,
but the heart springs to life,
shocked by that blustery flow
and the thrill of green.

walking that narrow path--
simple sand and rock underfoot
and all around a wonder,
you know why this place has that name:
the causeway.

careful, ye, there be giants here,
and they built a path into the sea.

(don't be tempted)


b

to see other photos from the antrim coast and giant's causeway (there's a lot of them), go to http://picasaweb.google.com/beth.satt. :)