christmas was different this year

our broomstick tree and small bounty of gifts

this year was the first year in my life that i haven't been home for christmas. this time around, i wouldn't spend mornings christmas shopping, days baking christmas cookies, afternoons collecting greenery and constructing wreaths, or evenings watching claymation rudolph's and frosty's. i didn't accompany my family on a snowy hunt for the christmas tree, or eat slumgulion stew on christmas night, nor did i enjoy the first white christmas at my house since i was a baby. instead, i spent christmas half a world away, and had proven to me that the richness of the season can be found anywhere.

what do you do at christmas time when there isn't family around? this is a question i found myself asking this year, because family really is the defining feature of christmas, at least in my previous experiences of it. you spend that special time of year with your parents and your siblings; it's often the only time of year you see many members of your extended family, and hear briefly about what they are making of their lives these days. the noise, laughter, stress, and joy of the holidays are all intimately tied to the presence of family. when family isn't around, christmas doesn't feel like all that big of a deal really. just a special day, arbitrarily placed in the middle of winter to fight off the duldrums, and give you a valid excuse to eat too much and make merry. and that's okay. christmas wasn't any less special this year, it was just different than it normally is.

i was blessed that my first christmas away from home wasn't a lonely one, and i think daniel and i found some small but wonderful ways to celebrate our little christmas together:
on christmas eve, we went for a walk in the woods, hiking up to the snow line, and digging through drifts together to rescue some boughs to bring a little green into the apartment. on the way home, we paused at a church in the woods for a moment of peace and reflection, lighting christmas-colored candles, and watching our own breath rise in front of our faces as we considered our lives in the context of the day. i can't speak for daniel, but i sat there and marveled at the fact that i was sitting in a tiny church surrounded by majestic mountains. i reveled in the warm tiredness in my thighs from our walk, and the chilly damp of my ankles after slogging in the snow for our boughs. there i was: young, healthy, and living a pretty amazing life... so much to be thankful for.
that night we ate simply, built a broomstick christmas tree, went out for a beer, and then attended midnight mass at the cathedral. the service was in german, and daniel told me later that it was pretty cheesy, but taking part in that ritual was a great experience. as was the moment when daniel turned to me, extending his hand for mine in a warm gesture of peace... and i then turned to the strangers beside me to wish them the same. in the services i have attended in my time in europe and the UK, this is my favorite moment, because of the generosity of spirit that i have felt in those grips: strangers with honest goodwill in their heart, so easily shared with this person they have never met.

christmas morning feast!

christmas day, we had decided, was going to be a feast day. we slept in, but when we woke up, got right to work on a delicious brunch of an enormous scramble full of vegetables and cheese and a batch of buttery homemade buscuits. we lingered over the food and our coffee, enjoying some music and each other's company. after breakfast, we opened our small collection of gifts. because each of us had primarily been shopping for only a very few people, we were each very proud of our choices. consequently, though small, our gift exchange was full of joy as we each saw our careful choices bring the hoped for joy to the other person's face. i don't know that i have ever so enjoyed gift-giving. it was small, and over in just a few moments, but was beautiful in great part because of that. that evening, we continued feasting, with a delicious dinner of roasted chicken and vegetables and a bottle of wine. the simple activity of working together on meals, the joy of shared music, food, conversation, and candlelight, came together to make a wonderful christmas. a non-traditional one, as is appropriate for it being celebrated halfway around the world from home.

b