after a drought... a trickle

...and no that isn't in reference to the weather, but instead my long, long absence in the blog-o-sphere. i'm not sure how to explain why i haven't been writing lately. a lot of it has to do with being caught up in the busyness of life at linfield, a lot to do with having other outlets than this two dimensional one, a lot of it is having a brain chock-full of new and exciting ideas and plans... and no idea how to start processing them. it's a good time. :)

as i am writing this it is blowing cold rain outside, and i'm finding myself wishing that i could fall back into those cozy winter patterns of tea and books and cookies... instead of the harried late spring patterns of coffee and textbooks and homework. life is really good right now, but just so FULL. i rarely have time to take a breath it seems, or a moment (or more, because an hour is the minimum for me to really get down to writing anything) for reflection. so, here's endeavoring to be more reflective. it may be a bit of a cop-out, but here's a list of things (i like lists, as erik rightly observed the other day) that have been bringing me much pleasure of late, as well as some that i have found draining. let's hope i can get back to some real reflective writing soon.

pleasures:
--riding my bike
--working at the community garden
--spending a lot of time volunteering
--rain
--reading for and talking about issues in my environmental sociology class
--reading for my nature writing class
--talking to people about the ideas that are consuming me lately
--rediscovering/finding my (new) niche at linfield
--looking forward to distant friends coming hoooooome!
--reading the oakhill organics blog from start to finish
--cooking kale and cabbage
--thinking about the future

drains:
--thinking about the future (it's coming so fast!)
--nasty weather
--surface level class discussions and narrowness of vision
--long to-do lists that only grow no matter how many things i cross off
--planning for senior year (making sure i can fit everything in)
--not enough sleep

and in closing... a poem. not one of mine sadly, because writing poetry takes me even more time than stream-of-consciousness-reflection-mushy-ish does. but, wendell berry, as ever, continues to bring me comfort and inspiration. when i read his words, my heart resonates with the deep, rich tones of his prose and the ideas that they propose.


The Want of Peace

All goes back to the earth,
and so I do not desire
pride of excess or power,
but the contentments made
by men who have had little:
the fisherman's silence
receiving the river's grace,
the gardener's musing on rows.

I lack the peace of simple things.
I am never wholly in place.
I find no peace or grace.
We sell the world to buy fire,
our way lighted by burning men,
and that has bent my mind
and made me think of darkness
and wish for the dumb life of roots.


... okay i lied. there's one more...


The Wish to Be Generous

All that I serve will die, all my delights,
the flesh kindled from my flesh, garden and field,
the silent lilies standing in the woods,
the woods and the hill and the whole earth, all
will burn in man's evil, or dwindle
in its own age. Let the world bring on me
the sleep of darkness without stars, so I may know
my little light taken from me into the seed
of the beginning and the end, so I may bow
to mystery, and take my stand on the earth
like a tree in a field, passing without haste
or regret toward what will be, my life
a patient willing descent into the grass.

so that's me lately: wanting and wishing... hope you are all well.
peace.
b